The marriage will always have bickering over dumb stuff, and sometimes over serious stuff, but there will always be enough love to over come any obstacle.
Strive for that kind of relationship.
Key ingredients in a successful marriage:
- Relationship with God
Relationship with God
If you are not right with God, chances are, you won't be right with your spouse. Having a relationship with God clears up the rights and wrongs, it straightens your morals. Once those are in place, you will be able to act as a responsible and wise spouse.
Find God. It is so simple. Many people make it seem so hard to do.
"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16
That's it. Believe on him. Believe that he has paid for all your sins, you are clean in front of him. The weight of sin will be lifted from you. Believe and ask god to come into your life and clean you of sin. That's it. Everything else will be added on from there. There is no greater joy then to know that you are forgiven. If you would like more information please contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org or my pastor, Bob Davis, Clayton Johnson or Brad Hardy at the North Country Chapel - 1-800-572-8851 or online at http://www.northcountrychapel.com/contactus.htm
Communication with your spouse is so important. Without it the marriage will be sick and deteriorate with time.
It starts from the time you meet. If you are past that point not all is lost. This may hurt and may be hard on the both of you but once it is done you ail have a happy, healthy marriage. It may also take some time to get through all of it.
Open up to each other. Share your dreams, your hurts and your problems. Even secrets. There should not be any secrets for you to be free and open with each other. It took a long time for my wife and me to get to this point. It hurt and it was scary. But love has prospered.
Too much openness at once can be very stressful, so take time. Open up one step at a time. Support each other at it. Do not judge each other for it. You need to support each other and make him/her feel free to share their problems, their "skeletons in the closets". Make each other feel comfortable to open up.
Once the issues are on the table they are easier to deal with, with the support of the loved one.
Also let each other know how they make you feel. Learn to make each other feel loved. We found a great book that talks about the languages of love. It is based on psychology of a person. You can learn how your loved one works, what makes him or her tick. You will be amazed once you read this book. It is so dead on. This book helped us discover each other.
Go on a date, talk with each other, ask how the day has been. Go on a date at least twice per month, though once per week is ideal. Give each other 100% attention.
Marriage is an investment. If you do not add logs to the fire, it will burn out. Do something sweet for each other every day.
This may be the most difficult thing that you may face. Telling your spouse the truth, or hearing the truth.
Look at it this way, if you tell the trouth now, you will both get over it in a while and it will be in the past. If you do not, if you lie, you will have to live with the guilt, you'll have to keep lieing to keep the innitial lie hidden. Before you know the small lie you told has grown into a big problem. It will be harder to get out of it later.
Also when expecting a lie for an answer or suspecting that oen might lie, do not press for an answer. Make them feel comfortable telling you the trouth. This may not work this way at first but with practice it will be so much easier.
If you keep your marriage open and be honnest with each other you will feel so much closer together.
In this article I am sharring my point of view and my experiences in our marriage. I have only been married for seven years, yet we've been through a lot. We are more in love now then we have been when we got married.
Keep researching and studying marriage and relationship ideas. Read other peoples' experiences and advise. Filter out the stuff that doesn't work for you and keep adding to your marriage wisdom.
Share the values you have learned with your children when they start understanding this stuff. Have them learn from you, so when they grow up their memories of their parents will be of how much you loved each other and not what fights you had.
Good luck and God Bless.